What if you could psychologically trick yourself into choosing healthy habits instead of sticking to your old, harmful ways? And what if you could do such a great job with this that you could actually find yourself enjoying the same healthy habits that you used to avoid? Great news – you can do both of these things! Here’s how.
How Habits Work
We all have habits. A lot of them are so familiar to us that we don’t even have to pay much attention to carry them out. Here are a few things that we tend to do on “autopilot:”
- Brushing our teeth
- Showering
- Turning on the TV when we get home
- Making coffee in the morning
Have you ever driven to a familiar destination, and then discovered that you can’t remember anything about the actual drive? This is a habit, too.
When we first learn how to do something new, we’re forced to focus. Remember the first time you drove somewhere by yourself? Your brain was concentrating, using all its power to make sure that you didn’t make a mistake. These days, you can probably drive for hours without even really thinking about what you’re doing.
Other habits work the same way. The brain learns basic information about the actions that are taking place, and then it converts those actions into an automatic sequence called chunking. We’d drive ourselves crazy without chunking; for example, we would have to focus as we tied our shoes, walked upright, went up a set of stairs, typed out an email to the boss, and so much more.
Once habits are formed, they move into three-step loops, appropriately known as habit loops. Habit loops begin with a cue that tells your brain which habit to use for a chunking sequence. The routine happens – it could be a routine way of thinking, behaving, or even feeling emotionally.
Habit loops are tied to rewards. These might be actions, thoughts, feelings, neurochemical releases, or something else. Our brains tend to use escape from mental stress as a kind of reward, which is why it is so hard to stop procrastinating. Procrastination is a habit that forms in response to common fears such as the fear of being judged, the fear or making a mistake and feeling stupid, or even the fear of change and/or unfamiliar things. The brain sees procrastination as a survival method for dealing with overwhelming feelings, when in fact, this habit is one that can have a deeply negative impact on your life.
There’s a lot more to the science of habits, but you now know the basics.
Change Your Habits the Easy Way
Getting rid of bad habits is often seen as an overwhelming challenge. The reason for this is that we don’t realize that in attempting to force ourselves to pick up new, healthy habits, we are often providing our brains with a negative experience that’s perceived as somehow scary.
Instead of attempting to force habit change, it’s important to find a way to reward yourself (and reward your brain) for replacing old harmful habits with positive new ones.
Remember the habit loop cycle?
- Cue
- Routine
- Reward
You can hack any habit by recognizing which cue starts the habit (routine) and which rewards you receive as a result.
Here’s one of my favorites:
- The cue: I’m feeling bored.
- The routine: Get onto social media. Stay there for a really long, unhealthy amount of time.
- The reward: Feel entertained.
- There was a problem, though. I would feel guilty about staying on Facebook and Instagram for so long, and I’d also feel bored after I stopped because my brain was craving the dopamine rush it would get from all those photos and kitten videos. A lot of the time, this would lead to even more scrolling through the newsfeed.
I replaced this bad habit with a new one when I realized that I was stuck in a negative habit loop. Notice that the cue and the reward are the same, and that the outcome changed drastically.
- The cue: I’m feeling bored.
- The routine: Go outside and walk around the block. Look up at the sky. Notice the plants and trees and birds and squirrels. Say hi to the neighbor. Say hi to the neighbor’s dog.
- The reward: Feel entertained.
- Now I feel good. My blood is pumping, and It felt really good to get some fresh air into my lungs. I feel like I can focus on something productive again.
You can use the same process to change any habit. It takes a little bit of thinking and your brain – believe me on this – is going to rebel and give you all kinds of excuses why the old habit is better.
You have to be intentional to do this. You have to remind yourself that you’re going to get the same exact reward, but minus the guilty, uncomfortable feelings and potential health detriments that come along with your old habit. You have to convince your brain that the new habit is even better than the old one. After that, you have to do the new action so that your brain gets the reward that it wants.
A Proven Strategy for Changing Any Habit
You don’t have to remember everything you know about habits when choosing to create a new behavior, but it may help you to remind yourself that you’re the one in charge of making your own choices. You are choosing your new actions intentionally, and you have good reasons for doing so. The more often you remind yourself of the importance of your choices and the positive, rewarding outcomes you’ll enjoy when you engage in the new behaviors, the easier it will be to create those new habits.
Here is a proven strategy for habit formation. While we’re using it here to create healthy new habits like walking around the block instead of checking out your Twitter feed for the nineteenth time in an hour, you can use it for absolutely anything in life.
1. Start by deciding on a goal that you want to achieve. If the goal is a big one like losing 50 pounds, consider breaking it down into smaller milestones that make up the one big goal, like losing 5 pounds, then losing 5 more, etc. This way, your brain perceives the goal as simpler even though you’re ultimately going to achieve the exact same positive outcome.
2. Choose a simple action that you can do to reach your goal. You can use what you know about habit loops here and tie this action to a common cue. Let’s imagine that the cue is “I’m hungry” and the old routine was to head for the nearest fast food drive through for a food reward. Now you’re going to replace that routine with a new one: choosing your favorite healthy meal and enjoying a food reward that tastes even better. Remember, these cues and actions can be anything.
It’s really important to do things you like, and to be highly specific here. Imagine the old habit down to the last detail, and then imagine the new one in its place. You might want to write yourself a note outlining the new habit and how, when, and where it will take place. For example: “Every day at lunch time, I’m going to go to the refrigerator in the break room and get the lunch I brought with me. I’m going to warm it up and sit at the table near the window while I enjoy my lunch. I’m going to think about the food nourishing my body. When I’m finished, I’m going to be satisfied and I will feel good about following through with my choice.”
3. Decide how to approach your chosen action ahead of time. Having some idea of when, where, and how the habit will take place will prepare you to use the power of choice.
4. Every time the opportunity to use the newly chosen habit arises, do the action that you chose. It may help to think or say aloud “I am choosing to (name of the habit/action).”
5. Know that this is going to feel weird at first, and don’t stop trying even if you fail a few times. Most people do let the old habit out to play from time to time. But the more often you exercise the new habit and enjoy the reward that comes with it, the stronger your belief will be that this new habit is better than the old one.
It takes quite a while to firmly cement a new habit into place – Think ten weeks or so. You might want to keep track of how many times you did the new habit. Make a list of dates and times, and then make a check mark that shows each time you successfully used your new habit instead of your old one. The more check marks you make, the more motivated you will be. In fact, your brain will come to perceive the check marks as part of the reward! I still use a check mark system to track my workouts. For some reason, it’s really, really satisfying.
Experiment with this five-step process and be kind to yourself as you work toward the changes you most desire. It’s best to start with something small, achieve success, and then move on to the next habit. It took you a lifetime to get to the place where you are now, and it’s OK to take some time to move on to the next chapter. Celebrate your successes and as you move from tiny habit changes to bigger ones, you’ll notice a snowball effect. The more you succeed, the easier it will be to follow through with changing larger habits. With time, planning, and choices – along with the knowledge that you are in control – you really can achieve anything you set your mind to.
Sounds too easy to be true… I want to give it a try! Who’s in?